Thursday, December 29, 2016

Friday, July 1, 2016

June 28, 2016

Driving slow in the left lane is way more dangerous than driving fast in the right

Thursday, March 24, 2016

March 22, 2016

Even if they sell 31 flavors, get the vanilla if it's your favorite.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

December 15, 2015

If you have to run a red light, make a face like you are terrified.  That way, whatever crazy story you come up with to avoid the ticket, your face on the red-light cam will match. 

Friday, December 19, 2014

December 16, 2014

Buy people the presents you know they will like, even if it's not necessarily the one you want to give them.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

September 30, 2014

What happens in Vegas...is going to show up on your credit card statement.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

August 26, 2014

If your friend with a lot of cats invites you to dinner, first buy them one of those novelty plates that says that "Food tastes better with a little cat fur."  If they laugh, don't eat there.