Friday, December 19, 2014

December 16, 2014

Buy people the presents you know they will like, even if it's not necessarily the one you want to give them.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

September 30, 2014

What happens in going to show up on your credit card statement.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

August 26, 2014

If your friend with a lot of cats invites you to dinner, first buy them one of those novelty plates that says that "Food tastes better with a little cat fur."  If they laugh, don't eat there. 

Friday, July 18, 2014

July 15, 2014

Drivers - If you flip somebody off for some bone-headed driving mistake, you are doomed to make the same mistake within the next hour.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

June 24, 2014

Buying "thinspiration" pants is a guarantee to pack on at least 5 pounds.

Friday, June 13, 2014

June 10, 2014

If you have close-by neighbors, something undesireable of theirs is going to come into your yard.

Friday, May 9, 2014

May 6, 2014

A perfectly green lawn with no dandelions is the sign of misspent priorities.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

April 29, 2014

Instead of catering to their customers, Airlines now expect the customers to cater to them.

Friday, April 25, 2014

April 22, 2014

If your cell phone runs out of charge or is set to no ring, that is when you will misplace it.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

April 15, 2014

Whenever you have to buy something embarrassing, there will be a young, attractive member of the opposite sex at the cash register. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

March 25, 2014

The way you feel about deer depends a lot on how close they are to your car.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

March 11, 2014

Even in a blackout, never light someone's candle that is shaped like anything besides a normal candle.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

February 25, 2014

In the dating world, a red flag for most people is still a green light for some. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Thursday, February 6, 2014

February 4, 2014

When you use the car's wiper fluid, the car's wipers are automatically set - First swipe messes up the windshield so you can't see anything.  The second swipe cleans the windshield.  The third swipe smudges it back up again.