Wednesday, December 18, 2013
December 17, 2013
If some people tried to sell their brains, the major selling point would be low mileage.
Friday, November 29, 2013
November 26, 2013
If your living room is filled with roaches...that probably means you are totally out of snacks.
Friday, November 15, 2013
November 12, 2013
Whenever someone starts a sentence with, "In all honesty" or "To tell you the truth", you are about to be lied to.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Winners of the best PHCP by a listener contest!
First Place - Mr Gee
- The last bus home is the one you just missed
Second Place - Trucker Tom - The one day you need everything to go right is the one day it goes horribly wrong
Third Place - Jill B
- Always leave the bar before the lights come back on.
November 5, 2013
Staples are to sewing as pickle juice is to lube. It might get the job done, but you won't be happy with the results.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
October 29, 2013
I dislike both passive aggressive behavior and hypocrites. That's why I'm saying this on air instead of talking to anyone face to face about it.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
October 22, 2013
Before breaking up with someone heinous either 1. Hide a dead flounder in their apartment or 2. Write them a note saying you did.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
October 15, 2013
Some cultures say that getting pooped on by a bird is good luck. It is, if you own a dry cleaners.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
October 8, 2013
No one should say the words "cottage cheese" within hearing distance of women in bathing suits.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
September 24, 2013
Don't use up two parking spaces in a crowded parking lot unless you have a ready supply of car touch up paint.
September 17, 2013
The speed of the car in front of you is inversely proportionate to the desperation with which you need to get home to the bathroom.
Friday, September 6, 2013
September 3, 2013
Even if you are St. Francis, you only have about a 75% chance of keeping your friend's hamster alive until they get home from vacation.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
7/24/13
Puppies are cute until they eat their own poop. Boyfriends are cute until they eat your best friend.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
7/3/2013
If she makes you use a coaster for your drink, she's definitely going to make you use a condom in the pink.
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